Every time I hit the end of my patience with the toddler and he's dancing on my very last nerve, I tell myself to just breathe. Then I get back to enforcing the rules and boundaries of what he can and cannot do because that's part of my job as his mom. That's in addition to looking after his general well-being, kissing away boo-boos and being his potty assistant.
I'm still learning to let go on certain things, have to remember that the toddler is another human being with his own thoughts, needs and wants. I'm older and wiser (hello Sound of Music reference) so it's up to me to keep him from inadvertently killing himself by falling into the koi pond or sticking his fingers in the electrical socket but all non-lethal activities are open for discussion and compromise.
Just last month, I was tearing my hair out with his changing sleep pattern as he started switching from one nap a day to a nap every other day or two. This was in addition to it being a stressful period of time for me personally with the anniversary of a loved one's death coming up. I was having trouble dealing with his changing nap on top of his erratic eating patterns and the usual evening battle to get him into the shower and wash his hair. I don't even want to talk about getting him to brush his teeth.
Today we were visiting my uncle. As evening rolled around, it was time for the toddler to take a bath and he was using every trick in the book to delay it. It had been a long day visiting a friend in the afternoon then dinner at my uncle's and my patience snapped. I told him that if he didn't take a shower (after a full day of running around in our lovely humid tropical heat and sweating up a storm) then he could either stay at my uncle's home because I did not want him or he can sleep on the floor at home because I would not allow his grimy body in the family bed.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted saying them. I had told him that I 'did not want him' and I swore never to do that. I was a horrible mother.
Times like this, I start to doubt my ability as a mom. Am I doing things right? What could I do to improve the way I parent? Am I scarring my son for life?
